The Story of the Four Lines

It's been 2 years. 2 Long years. I mean, really long years. In many ways, it's actually been more like 6 and a half years.
But I digress.
Then, the four lines. What are these four lines? We shall discuss them in detail much much later. For now is not the time to tell the tale of these four lines. They are and must remain mysterious, for that is what the four lines shall be.

I've been a little sleep deprived lately. Nonsensical sentences notwithstanding, my thoughts are more gibberish than usual. I think that'll be the new name of my blog. Nonsensical Sentences Notwithstanding. I have no idea what that means.
Story of my life. And the four lines.
Intrigued? Stay tuned.

"I'm not here to talk about the past..."

With those few words, Mark McGwire launched himself from first-ballot Hall of Fame status to the "Will he ever get in?" atmosphere.
Some of my studies lately have been about forgiveness. There's an interesting paradox between God's view of forgiveness and our own. We say, "Forgive and forget." But do we actually do that? The Psalms say that God has forgotten your sins as far as the east is from the west. Imagine that for a second. If you started walking east, and continued walking east, you would never ever stop walking east. There's a reason He didn't say as far as the north is from the south. If you started walking north, at a particular point, you would start heading south. But not with east and west. You would always be headed east.
But to me, the paradox comes here: We should never forget what we have been forgiven of. It's not like God is keeping some big record book up there, and says, "Well, TJ, you did this on September 30, 1994, so that's a date you need to watch out for." Of course it's not like that. But it is important for us to know what it feels like to be forgiven. Then and then only, are we free to be able to truly forgive others.
Let's just get this out of the way and make sure everyone knows...I'm a complete loser. I mess up probably 100 more times a day than most people. Therefore, I need forgiveness. I can actually understand forgiveness. Those who "never mess up" cannot. One of these days, they will mess up. How do I know? Because, "All have sinned; All have fallen short of God's glorious standard." There was only one perfect man on this earth, and He promised us to return again.

I hope that day comes soon.

Not too bad

everytime i overreact to the anxiety that creeps in...
you don't know what to say
you don't have any authority to say anything
you are a failure
what do you think you're doing?

the great I AM works things out. I AM give me the strength to finish this project and get it turned in. i forgot what a procrastinator i become when there's a deadline...

the big day

Well, it's here. I've known about this day for a couple months now. Lance always gives me a ton of time to prepare, and then it gets here and I still stress out. Woke up at 6 this morning. Anxiety kicked in overtime. Forced myself to stay in bed until 6:55. Kim's so supportive. She even woke up with me and quoted some scripture to calm me down. What a wonderful wife.

Did my usual routine of unlocking the building, turning the heat on, and starting the players. Checked my deal websites. And prayed. And studied. Oh well, if I don't know it now, I hope God leads the right words for me to say.

Pray.
tj

Wednesdays

I always get so pumped up for Wednesdays. It's the big night of the week for the Student Ministry. Over the last few months, we've had some kids who haven't grown up at MC coming...and that's a huge deal.

The last couple weeks, it's been harder to get pumped up. Mainly because I know we'll play the game, and everyone will get so jacked up, and then it's time for the lesson and they just tune me out. It's like they don't even care that I spend most of Tuesday and Wednesday preparing to teach them something about the Bible. It's not rocket science. I'm not asking for their first born....just their attention for about 45 minutes. And yet, it doesn't seem like that's remotely possible for them to give.
I went home all bummed out.
Luckily I have the best wife in the world, and she said, "You know what will cheer you up? Grading papers!" And you know what, it did. When you're stressed out about teenagers not caring about what it is that God wants them to know...grading first grade papers is pretty relaxing. They're so funny. Kim's been teaching them to write creatively this year, and they did all these papers about what Snowmen do at night. Most of them like to drink "cold cow-cow" and wear big sweaters. It's quite amusing.
And that's why we do this. The teens aren't any different than the first graders. We'll just have to figure out ways to keep them interested.
Pray hard.
tj

I think I've found a new place to live! 

It's true...I love my Wife! 

First Post

I didn't want to get a xanga or myspace account to post my thoughts, and this site just kind of jumped out at me. I don't know a whole lot about blogs, but I do enjoy reading them and keeping up with people in my life that are important to me and what I do.
So my mission statement for this blog will to be as personal and yet as distant as I can be. Even though I'm a pretty public person, there are a lot of things I hold back, just because i'm supposed to. Maybe soon I'll even put this site out there for others to read. Right now, I'll just be content on knowing I can write in it or read it whenever I feel like it.

And that's just the juxtaposition I find my self in. I know tons of people. Yet tons of people don't know me. And they don't want to know me...or anybody for that matter. The world has changed us. Made us less personal. Everything is e-this or e-that and so unsympathetic to others' wants, needs, even dreams.

So onto the personal/not so personal stuff I referred to earlier...
I'm preaching this Sunday. Yet another day that I try and discover if God has gifted me to pastor, or to be a Youth Pastor for another few years. I know I'm running out of time to decide...or rather I haven't been listening. I'm comfortable. Not something ministers should allow themselves to get. In reality, we should be able to move to Africa in a moments notice if that's what God wants.
And I want that. But where God has carved this niche out for me...is that what He wants?

I know people know about me...but do they know me?